Shifted

One thing I have learned is that I have become quite inadequate at getting things done. I could blame the summer weather, the long days of lounging in the sunshine, or the adventures waiting to be had. But it is time for me to face the fact that I have changed. It isn't the weather or the adventures to be had, it is me.

College is a great shifter. When I entered into college my whole life shifted. I went from the life I have been used to for the past 18 years to a new town with new people nearly 8 hours away from home. But it was the best decision I ever made. Sure it was scary and nerve racking. There were the teary eyes phone calls home asking for my parents to come pick me up. But I won't change a thing. My life shifted, it changed. College was great, and is great. College is filled with the little moments that leave a big impact. Totally worth every tear shed, laugh shared, and penny spent.

No longer are the daily to-do lists filled with this that and another thing. College relaxed me, it allowed me to step back from the lists of life and enjoy each moment as it comes. Yea, there are still the emails needing to be answer, the train ticket waiting to be purchased, the stack of clothes sitting on my desk. Those things haven't gone away. There is still a mental to-do list floating in my mind, it just isn't as present. For there is the sunshine, the adventures, the moments to be cherished.

I guess it comes down to balance. Balancing the mental to-do list with fun lovin' moments of life. For now I will sit back and enjoy the sunshine. There is always later, always tomorrow, but for now I am going to enjoy a cup of tea.

A good read for fellow women

This is for all you women out there. I read this article, When It Isn't a Skinny Day last night and it hit the spot for me. I have always struggled with self image (as most, if not all women do). One area that is of constant struggle is keeping the extra weight off. I am considered by most people a "skinny girl", and for the most part I agree with them. I have always been on the smaller side, ever since I was a child. But that doesn't mean I don't struggle with not feeling skinny enough because I do.

So for all you fellow women out there who struggle with not feeling skinny enough read this article. Enjoy it; let the words sink in; return to it often to read and reread the important message it displays to women who feel like their "skinny is gone".  

URL: http://goodwomenproject.com/beauty/when-it-isnt-a-skinny-day

Just another accident

To most it looked like just another accident.
Front end collision.
Air bag deployed on driver side.
Two people: driver and passenger. The driver stuck, trapped by the air bag, possibly injured.
Worse than a fender bender, but not bad enough to take a life.

As I drove by I didn't see just another accident like the other passing drivers; I felt it.

I wanted to go up to smashed car and tell those two that everything was going to be alright. I wanted to tell them that yes, your life will never be quite the same. You will cringe at drivers who turn to close or those who swerve a bit to far into your lane. You will be cautious, take fewer risks, but you will be okay. You are going to walk away from this alright. It will be hard. There are going to be rough days. A week from today you will be lying in bed with tears streaming down your face; you will be asking "why me, why us?"  Yet, no one will have an answer for you. That is how life is; you learn to roll with the punches. You learn that life is precious and that at any moment it could be swept out from underneath you. You thought you were invincible, but you weren't, you aren't, and you never will be.
But you will be fine.. you really will. It will only make you stronger. You learn to love life even more, to cherish each moment. You know you are here for a reason; that your life was spared because God has plans for you beyond your imagination. Remember this all on the rough days. On the day you go out to buy a new car to replace the one that saved your life. Remember that you are strong and that life is yours to live, so live it!

I wanted to share that with those two as they sat in their smashed car muttering "oh, shit" to themselves. Yet, as much as they needed to hear it, I, myself needed to hear it. For if I were to be honest with myself I am still dealing with, still recovering from my own front end collision.

You take what you get

Last week was the return trip home. The trip from one home to the other.
Sitting there in passenger seat I watched Marquette pass by, and I thought back. And there in that moment I pulled out my journal and began writing. Writing down each thought swirling in my mind. Writing on the past eight, nearly nine months of my life.

The tears that fall are tears of joy. The joy of all the good times; the memories made. The late nights filled with midnight snack runs. The wallyball games where laughter caused sides to hurt. The early Saturday morning cycling class with a post workout trip to Smoothie King. The afternoon pool games which I occasionally won. And Monday nights filled with Castle, laughter, and challenging life questions.
The conversations: priceless.
The times of almost falling off the chair. The crazy sayings spoken in the early morning hours by a mind running on low. "You take what get".
And that is it; you take what you get and you run with it. You embrace the time. You live in the moment. That is what college is all about; that is what life is about.
And to all those who helped shape these good times... Goodbyes are hard, but it isn't really goodbye rather see you later. A time will come once again where our lives will intertwine. A time where we create more memories, have more laughs, share more conversations about life. 

Being home everyone has asked me how the first year was. I answer in the simplest way possible: "It was awesome; I loved it up in the UP". Those two things are both true, but to tell someone how my first year truly was would take more time than just one cup of tea. My first year was more than just awesome. It was  a year of growth, learning, discovery. The list could go on. I could talk of times of laughter and tears. Times of fear, trial, and overcoming. In it all one discovery is key: tea. Without tea so much wouldn't be. Tea has become more to me than just a drink for a sore throat. It has become life.
My first year; a cup of tea.

"When these words will come out right"

I have been a bit tripped up on what to write as of late. I feel as if I have a billion thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head. Bear with me. I will get around to sorting the humble jumble out in my head. I promise. I haven't completely lost touch. Not to fear.

Also I am home, which puts life in a limbo until I can readjust enough to function properly.

"And every time thoughts tumble down
my mind is unwound
so much to say
maybe on another day
when these words will come out right"
-Josh Garrels, Songbird