The Start. Looking back to June 22.

June 22, 2012:

Lately I have giving myself reason as to why I don't need to go to Montana. I keep questioning myself, asking "did I make the right choice?" But it is time for me to suck it up and face the fact that I need to go to Montana. It is not about whether or not I want to. No, I need too. Because right now I need it.

I am at the crucial time, that crucial age. That age where the experiences you have will most likely shape the course of your future. And that downright frightens me. What if? What if these next five weeks change the course of my future?

It all boils down to change. Change, to put it plain and clear is something I don't do well with. For me to go from school, to home, to Montana, to home, to school is well... stressful.
Yet, tucked in the back of my mind is this idea that Montana is the breathe of fresh air I am longing for. It is going to offer me time. Time to dig into myself, to listen, and to explore.

I remind myself often that life is a journey. A walk lead by the best guide of all, God. Montana is another step in the journey. I am trusting my guide. I know Montana is where I need to go; where I need to be this summer. I am going there for a reason. Although I don't know the reason, I know it is going to be good.
Montana is what I need.

Haven't Forgotten [You]

"Please remember me, happily
by the rose bush laughing"

A desire to be remembered, not quickly forgotten.
To be that girl you in vision
happy and laughing

I want to be that girl. Someone you are
"caught in the kitchen [with]
with maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank
a vision too removed to mention" 

I want you to know that I am
"still pretty"

I hope that
"we'll meet again"
that you will
"remember me as in the dream"

And that you won't forget me
For I haven't forgotten
you.


thanks to Iron and Wine for the lyrics.