Ease the chaos

Knitting.
I have not been doing it long, and I am a far cry from a pro.
Last week I started and finished my first knit project.

There is something about the clicking of the needles, the repetition of the stitch that soothes an anxious, overactive, overwhelmed mind.

Last week I picked up my knitting needles for the first time in nearly a year. The end of the semester left my mind on overload. I needed to remove myself from the chaos of the semesters end and relax into home.

The more time I spent with thread and needle I remembered the tips and tricks to knitting beyond the first row. As time progressed I started challenging my skills, learning the purl stitch from how-to YouTube videos.

Slowly I am improving. Maybe someday I will be knitting socks, but until then I will wear my SmartWools proudly. For now I am content with my simple creations of headbands and scarves, slowly working my way up to bigger projects. Next up a new cowl scarf to match my new coat.

Here is my challenge to you: take some time away for YOU. Do something to calm that chaotic mind. Whether you get your knitting needles out or curl up with a good book. I challenge you to unplug, relax, and ease your mind. It will make a difference, I promise.

Five to read once more

Nearly a year has gone by. This blog has shifted with each word and photograph placed upon it. I have found difficulty in writing lately, and I apologize for that.

So, here is to the year ahead with many more words to be shared.

Here are five of my favorites post from this past year. Enjoy as you read them once more.

1. I ain't got no friends
2. New Shoes and a Messed Up Toe
3. "You jump, I jump": a story without a perfect ending
4. Endless Sunshine
5. In every corner of our lives

I can

Lining the pages were words of what might be someday. Written in handwriting so distinctly mine. I had written tea, Montana, Natives, kids, mom? Simply written below in the same scrawled handwriting was confusion, unsure, uncertain, overwhelmed.

Those pages have been my life the past months. Written this summer, words strong and true. In time I realized that in the sprawling words of my confusion I could be all. I could drink tea, live in Montana, live life among the Native people, have kids, and be a mom. I can be all that those words represent.
I can.

A little something to ponder

"There are two ways each of us can approach life: spending our days meeting our needs or looking for ways to meet others' needs. The mystery is that when we spend our life focused on our own needs, we are never satisfied and our deepest needs never seem to be met. But when we pour out our life and focus on how we can serve others, not only do we find incredible fulfillment, but our deepest needs are met as well." -Eric Ludy

Starbucks, for the non-coffee lover

Here is to all the non-coffee lovers who tell me the reason they don't go to Starbucks is because they don't like coffee.

1. Tea

You can never go wrong with tea. My favorite from Starbucks is Vanilla Rooibos. 

2. Chai Tea Latte

This may be my favorite drink at Starbucks. But you have to go beyond the plain Chai Tea. I like to mix it up. Some of my favorite creations are:

Pumpkin Spice Chai. Ask for a Pumpkin Spice, with whip, no water, Chai. Trust me, it is autumn in a cup. 

Caramel Chai. This drink is the perfect blend of chai and sweet. Want a bit more sweetness? Ask for whip and caramel drizzle.

3. Hot Chocolate

For all you chocolate lovers you need to try a Hot Chocolate. My personal favorite is the holiday special of the Peppermint Hot Chocolate (which you can get year round).

4. Caramel Apple Spice

This drink is an amazing blend of apple cider and cinnamon; topped with the sweetness of whip and caramel. 

5. Blended Strawberry Lemonade

Even though winter is around the corner, you have to try this. It is wonderful. Add raspberry and whip for perfection. 

In the Shadow of Chief

There was this time, were us girls sat around the fire. We were in the shadow of Chief, a mountain we could not conquer.

I sat upon the grass that night thinking of the mountain. And the fear it welled up inside of me. I remembered back to the afternoon, being on the side, shaking. My physical strength was being tested, but even more than that my mental strength. Never before had I been so afraid.

Looking back I don't fully understand the fear. I don't understand why all I wanted to do was sit down and weep. But I will always know that while I was in that moment, I was afraid. I wasn't sure if I was going to come off that sacred mountain.

God was testing me. He was working on me, in that moment of fear. He was asking me to trust him. But I wasn't. I was too caught up in my wobbly knees. I wasn't trusting anything; not Him, not me, no one.

That night, as we sat around the blazing fire, drinking in the moment, I began to understand. I began to feel God. I had come off the mountain, alive, in one piece.
I want to go back, face my fear, and trust the Lord.

In every corner of our lives

How often do we incorporate God into our lives?

How often?

The other day, in my Creative Writing class, I was in reading a piece by Rick Bass entitled "Fire Season". 

The essay as a whole struck me. The piece begins with him in a huckleberry patch, where he writes of:

"huckleberry jam in the coming year, and pancakes and muffins and milkshakes"

But huckleberries aren't the point. 

This is what struck a cord. 

"and I know more than I have ever known that there is no hand of mankind, no technology or science or knowledge, or management directives, the can influence this breath of living, restless earth: And again I feel tiny, puny, even invisible, and it is exhilarating, and I am reminded intensely of what an astounding privilege it is to be alive"

And there I wrote in my quick scribbled handwriting, God.

In class I wanted to raise my hand and say I know the answer; I know what "influences this breath of living, restless earth". 

Lately I have been caught is this struggle of why college? I am now an Undecided major, which simply means I am confused. So the question arises, why college? And to be fully honest, I still sit here in confusion over that question.

But I know this, God is in my classes. I can still find God. He there, woven into the essays, the story stories, and the history I study. I can't skim over that. I can't turn away from classes simply because I am asking the question why?

He is there. 

You just have to look.