Just be

"Being" is never easy.

Life never allows the mind to just be.

Why?

First, the lyrics to the Creed song "Weathered" come to mind: 

I lie awake on a long dark night
I can't seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killin' me inside
Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine
No, maybe I can't accept the life that's mine

'Cause me, I'm rusted and weathered 

For me "I can't seem to tame my mind".

There is:

A maybe, potential relationship hanging out in the unknown
A temptation of what I thought I wanted trying to draw me away
Deciding on a job for fall semester
Finals; finishing the year strong
Reconnecting with my life at home
Nailing down babysitting jobs for the summer
Raising support for Summer Project
Packing to leave my home away from home
Leaving beautiful Marquette
Finding a car
Changing my major

 The list could go on.

Today, I checked one thing off the list. I finished my thirteen page formal report on the benefits of tea (which, I apologize, has kept me from posting the past week).

But not everything on my untamed mind is able to be checked off the list. A number of these things can't be figured out or completed by me sitting in Starbucks for hours on end.
Rather, they stem back to my trust in God. For he is the one sitting in Starbucks working on my to-do list. He is the one checking things off when the time is right.
So what do I do?

Be.

Because that is all I can do.

Patience. It is a virtue, and mine is being tested. God knows my flaws; he knows when I need to be tried and tested.

Last night I wrote this is my journal "God, this is all yours". There isn't a thing I can do other than put my untamed mind in his hands and...
just be.